
UPDATE: A MEMORIAL FOR HOWARD JACOBS WILL BE HELD ON SUNDAY, NOV. 15, AT 1:30PM AT CONGREGATION KOL AMI, 1200 N. LA BREA AVE., WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90038.
Longtime HIV/AIDS Activist Howard Jacobs Dies
Startling and sad news: longtime HIV/AIDS, youth, disability and social services activist and all-around good guy Howard Jacobs died from liver cancer this morning. He was 45, with a birthday coming up.
Howard’s former boss, West Hollywood City Councilmember Jeff Prang, sent out an email at 8:50 this morning:
Dear Colleagues,
I am sad to report that our former City Hall colleague, Howard Jacobs, passed away this morning at about 4:00 AM. Howard worked as my Deputy for several years, and continued his service to the City as a Rent Stabilization Commissioner.
Howard lived with HIV/AIDS for over twenty years. He was a tireless and passionate advocate in the fight against HIV/AIDS, and on behalf of those in need of support and services, serving as Chair of the Board of Being Alive. In recent years, his career took a different path, as he went to work for a number of agencies serving youth – including GLASS, and most recently, First 5 LA.
Howard was smart, sensitive, fearless, and unyieldingly committed to everything he believed in; he believed deeply in West Hollywood and left an indelible mark on policies and programs of this City.
He was not only my former employee and appointee, he was a close friend, as he was to many here at City Hall.
His parents and family have decided to return to New York for burial, but at Howard’s request, we will have a memorial here in West Hollywood – I will let you know more information as it becomes available.
Thank you,
Jeff
In a follow-up conversation, Jeff told me that Howard’s death was unexpected. He went into the hospital about two weeks ago complaining about a pain in his side. He’d been in over the past few months suffering from a number of ailments, including hepatitis.
But this time he was diagnosed with a tumor, which had already consumed half his liver and, Jeff said, “there was nothing they would do.” It was too late for surgery or a transplant or chemotherapy, though they tried a little of that. “They just told him right away that it was just a matter of time.”
Jeff said that Howard’s close friend Catherine Hahn has been looking after Howard’s beloved dog Wilma and even snuck her into the hospital to see Howard several times in the week before he died. Jeff said people have offered to adopt Wilma.
Howard’s sister lives in West Hollywood and his parents were also in town from New York, where they will take his body back for a funeral. Jeff said Howard wanted a memorial in West Hollywood, as well, which is being planned.
Independent producer and Frontiers In LA columnist Dana Miller, who was chair of the board of AIDS Project Los Angeles when Howard worked there, said:
“He was a strong, smart guy. He was always bustin’ my butt about something that was wrong about APLA…and I loved him for it. He and his voice will be so damn missed.”
Jeff Prang reiterated to me in a phone conversation how “deeply sensitive and passionate and committed” Howard was to helping people with HIV/AIDS and disabilities. Jeff met Howard after he was elected to the city council in 1997 when Howard was serving on the city’s Disability Advisory Board. Jeff hired Howard as his council deputy and, Jeff said, Howard “educated” him on a number of policy issues four or five years – until 2003. Howard had to leave due to illness, but then he recovered.
Howard and his battles with HIV/AIDS were the subject of several news stories – including one in the Washington Post from 1991 that is actually quite timely:
“Howard Jacobs didn’t understand how his health insurance could have run out in September. Jacobs, who has AIDS, was told by a clerk at his local pharmacy that he had reached his maximum coverage for prescription drugs. No stranger to the byzantine world of health insurance bureaucracies, Jacobs surmised that his insurer had simply neglected to pay the bill.
It was no mistake, however. After wrangling with an insurance agent, Jacobs, 27, of West Hollywood, Calif., learned that his for- mer employer, New York City-based Tollman-Hundley Hotels, had cut its lifetime coverage for HIV-related claims from $1 mil- lion to $10,000. Jacobs, who was covered by the Tollman-Hundley insurance plan for 18 months after leaving his job there, was outraged.
“I want to scream and yell, `This is wrong!’ ” he said.
Jacobs’s case represents a growing trend that is of concern to the AIDS community as well as people with other terminal and chronic diseases. For many, it also raises doubts about the reliability of their health insurance. In cases being disputed in courts in several states, self-insured companies like Tollman-Hundley have singled out AIDS as one of the few conditions they are unwill- ing to fully cover. Instead, some companies are putting ceilings – sometimes as low as $5,000 – on the amount they will pay for treating the disease.
A Tollman-Hundley spokesman would neither confirm nor deny the policy, but bills from the insurance company that adminis- ters the plan state simply that Jacobs’s claims have been denied under Code 701 – an insurance industry reference meaning maxi- mum benefits have been paid.
To date, the company is denying more than $21,000 worth of claims – including a $15,075 bill for a recent hospital stay in which Jacobs battled his fourth attack of pneumocystis carinii pneumonia.”
“As a city councilmember, I get credit for policies that Howard, as my deputy, developed. My name’s attached to them, but they would not have happened if it had not been for Howard,” Jeff said. “He was the intellectual bulwark behind the development of programs – like the condom distribution program.”
This is from an AIDS Healthcare Foundation press release July 9, 1999:
“WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif., July 9 /PRNewswire/ — In a move heralded by many local AIDS prevention and treatment activists as groundbreaking, the West Hollywood city council — overriding its own city staff & human services commission’s recommendation — voted 3 to 2 Tuesday to instruct staff to draft a plan for mandatory condom distribution in the city’s “high risk” bars, nightclubs and adult establishments. Staff had recommended a voluntary plan, but following impassioned testimony from activists the council voted 3 to 2 (Vote: Heilman, Koretz & Prang, YES; Guarriello and Martin, ABSTAIN) for mandatory distribution. Council also voted unanimously to adopt the staff and human services commission’s recommendation to increase the total number of condoms the city distributes (currently through the West Hollywood Cares program) to 250,000 — up from 36,000 — as part of a stepped up AIDS prevention effort.
AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) earlier this year secured sufficient signatures to put before city voters a ballot initiative requiring such a program. City council member Jeff Prang helped convince AHF to delay action on its “West Hollywood ‘Safer Sex City’ Initiative” pending council action. The initiative would have required the city to implement and enforce a mandatory condom availability program.”
Howard convinced Jeff that while what AHF wanted “might not be ideal, it was important” for HIV prevention to provide condoms where people go – such as bars and nightclubs where alcohol and drugs are available and people might leave to have sex. :Howard educated me that the fight was for a policy outcome where we could develop partnerships with business to make sure we have this important HIV prevention vehicle there.”
Howard was also on top of anti-smoking enforcement and finding ways to help people with disabilities, such as removing ficus trees that were an impediment to people in wheelchairs during the Santa Monica Boulevard redevelopment project. He also made sure that the access ramps ran both ways so people in wheelchairs wouldn’t find themselves running into traffic; and as staff liaison to the Disability community, he came up with innovative ideas such as creating a raised garden and wheelchair tennis. He was also instrumental in creating a Disability Awareness Month with televised meetings and awards in October.
When he left the city of West Hollywood and went to work at the non-profit GLASS (Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services, which was forced to close for lack of funds), “he became as fierce an advocate for those kids as he was for HIV. He shifted his entire life to putting youth as a priority,” Jeff said.
Later he went to work for Rob Reiner’s youth organization, First Five LA. Jeff said that Howard was deeply involved in the budget battle in Sacramento – which had threatened to cut funding to the organization to balance the budget. The money stayed in.
“He was not ready to die,” Jeff said. “He was startled. It was such a shock that it was coming so soon. He was like a dear in the headlights.”
But his family was with him and he had a strong support network, Jeff said.
A memorial is pending.
Here is a bio from the One Tough Pirate website:
Howard Jacobs was born in New York City and moved to the West Hollywood in 1987.
As a graduate of Boston University with a degree in Hotel and Food Administration, Howard was employed as the Director of Purchasing/Food and Beverage Controller for Sheraton Grande Hotel in downtown Los Angeles as well as a Credit Manager for the J.W. Marriott Hotel in Century City (now the Park Hyatt Hotel).
Howard was diagnosed with AIDS on October of 1989 over 14 years ago. Soon into his diagnoses, Howard became a tireless advocate on behalf of people living with HIV disease. After seeing too many of his friends die, Howard began to volunteer at AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) in the Government Affairs department. Named as Volunteer of the Year in 1995 for APLA, Howard was honored for his leadership in Public Policy development from the organization.
Not only did he speak at public education forums on HIV prevention and large events such as the AIDS Walk, Howard, also, ran the Grass Roots programs for APLA creating a letter writing, e-mail, fax and direct one on one lobbying campaign to improve the quality of life for people living with HIV disease. In addition, he started a program for clients of the agency called Speak-Up so they could better advocate on their own behalf.
Members of these grass roots programs met with local, state and federal officials including former Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna Shalala, Senators Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer as well as Members of Congress including Henry Waxman and Maxine Waters.
Howard has been a strong community organizer. He has assisted in the development of annual county, state, and federal lobby day’s for the people affected and infected by HIV and developed a advocacy training program called Activate!U to educate people on ways to impact the legislative process.
In addition, he served as a member of the California State HIV CARE Consumer Advisory Board and chaired the Public Policy committee for the Los Angeles County Commission on HIV Health Services. He, furthermore, was a member of the LA City Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS Advisory Board.
Currently, he serves as the President of the Board of Directors for Being Alive/People with AIDS Action Coalition.
The impacts of triple combination therapies changed the long-term heath care outcome for Howard who returned to paid employment at APLA in June of 1998.
During this time, Howard was appointed to the Disability Advisory Board for the City of West Hollywood. He left the agency to work for Councilmember Jeffrey Prang from the City of West Hollywood in December 1998. At this point, Howard’s story was beginning to be chronicled by the Los Angeles Times, Westside Weekly section. He, in addition, wrote his own column describing the challenges of a person living with AIDS for this newspaper and other interested publications.
As a council deputy for Councilmember Prang, Howard has been a staff liaison to community advisory boards that have focused on disabled, senior, and gay and lesbian issues. During his tenure on these advisory bodies, the City has declared itself a sanctuary for people in need of medicinal marijuana, opened a raised garden bed for people with mobility impairments, created a recreation program for the disabled, increased funds for their HIV prevention programs, began a senior discount shopping program and commenced a recognition ceremony for same sex domestic partners in relationships of ten years or more.
Howard resides in West Hollywood and lives with his dog Wilma.
And here is a story Howard wrote, posted on that site:
Wake-Up Call from HIV
Living with HIV
By Howard Jacobs
June 2000
It has been said that adversity builds character. Since my AIDS diagnosis almost 11 years ago and surviving my most recent health crisis, I think character-building is well overrated.
“Chronic and manageable, miraculous recovery, full and productive life”: these are the headlines consistently being used when discussing HIV disease. After months with a non-detectable viral load and T-cells high enough to make me feel guilty for having so many, I believed these words.
“I am going to live forever,” I thought, not knowing what “forever” really meant, but understanding my present living situation needed to change.
Getting off Social Security, acquiring private health insurance and finding employment, I determined, was the best way to transition back into mainstream society. I felt great taking my first step working for a large AIDS-service organization. Six months later, I knew I was back as I began a job for the city I live in and appreciate working for a council member I respect and admire.
One and a half years later, the term “chronic and manageable” seemed to embody me. I was comfortable striking the balance between taking medications, seeing the doctor quarterly and performing my job to the satisfaction of myself and others. Under the stress of this high-profile position my health remained strong. I was challenged by the blood sport we call politics but enjoyed solving community issues while being a part of a dynamic and concerned City Hall staff.
I tuned out my reality of seeing friends getting sick or hearing about another death at a local AIDS housing facility. That was, of course, until the day I could not lift my head off the pillow or drag my body out of bed. I knew there was something seriously wrong as I made the appointment to see my physician. Two weeks later I was lying in a bed at Cedars-Sinai Hospital.
I almost fell back as the digital scale blinked 139 pounds. “One-hundred and thirty-nine pounds,” I muttered, watching the overworked sometimes uncaring nurse’s assistant walk out of my room, not recognizing the power of these blinking numbers. Jesus, I thought, I haven’t seen that on any scale since sixth grade. My body began to shake and my mind started racing wildly. I’ve never been this sick, I’ve never been this skinny and I’ve never been this scared. I had to laugh at the irony, hearing the television blare “chronic and manageable” while I watched my astute, well dressed and well mannered doctor walk down the hallway into my room. Noticing the seriousness in his eyes, I could not resist asking if “chronic and manageable” had any time limitations. He smiled and tried to reassure me I would get better. I was grateful for his confidence feeling certain it was my turn to die. How long could my body hold up fighting the immediate crisis of pneumonia, bacterial peritonitis, chronic hepatitis and ascites along with insulin dependent diabetes and HIV?
Eight weeks after my hospital stay, the scale read 158 pounds. “I survived this one,” I said to my usual nurse, uncertain as to how but unduly grateful for the understanding of my employer, the assistance of family and friends as well as an outpouring of concern from community residents and co-workers.
“Do you think HIV disease is chronic and manageable?” I asked her. “I guess it depends on who you ask and when,” she replied.
From personal experience I knew she was right.




hi karen,
this is shocking and sad news to me in SF and i didn’t even know howard. he sure sounds like a wonderful guy and i bet i would have found some common ground with him on lots of stuff.
reading your piece reminds me of my own health issues, and those of other PWAs, and all the tests we must undergo and monitor to stay alive. i’m old enough to remember when stories like this, of friends passing away in weeks, in the bad old days.
my deep condolences go out to howard’s many pals and family and friends and colleagues, and his dog. it must be rough for you all and i don’t know why but i couldn’t read this whole post without crying.
peace and all that love stuff to you.best,
michael
Thank you, Michael. Yes, a real shocker. And what a great guy.
KO
When Howard came to work at GLASS as our Director of Public Policy and Government Relations, I expected no less than the high level of commitment and the excellent work that he had delivered in his previous jobs. I was NOT PREPARED for what happened after he attended his first county-sponsored public forum on the placement and service needs of youth in the foster care system. He returend to the office, and came into my office, sat down quietly for a moment. Slowly at first, then more quickly, the tears began to flow down his cheeks. “What’s going on”, I asked. “They hurt my feelings”, he replied. “Who”? “The people from the County, from DCFS and Probation. They said such mean things about LGBT kids. Don’t they know that when they say mean things about our kids, that they hurt me too?” I sighed and thought that this poor baby, this toughened AIDS activist has no clue what he signed up for, but he might as well find out now, so I said it as plainly as I could. “Howard, they despise us. Underneath their false piety about helping kids, they wish we would just disappear. They have nothing but contempt for us, so, either get over it, or maybe this is not the job for you.” He blinked, loosened his neck tie and asked angrily, “Why have we not demonstrated, like we AIDS activists have done for so many years”? I sighed again. “Because these kids have no power, and the LGBT community is afraid of being accused of wrongdoing if they do anything for LGBT minors.” I waited. He stood up. “OK. I get it. I’ll be ready the next time”, and at that moment the tiger was set loose. From that day onward, Howard Jacobs was as passionate an advocate for the rights of LGBT foster youth as he had been on behalf of PWAs and the handicapped. One night a couple of years later, I was on my way up to Oakland to visit a GLASS group home, and as I walked through the Burbank airport, I saw Howard and three teens walking in my direction. The kids had flown to Sacramento with Howard, to meet our state legislators. They spotted me and came running, squealing like a pack of puppies. “Terry D., guess what? We met Mark Leno. He sat right down and talked to us, and Jackie Goldberg took us inside her office. Oh, Terry, this is just awesome.” I hugged the kids and told them how proud I was of them, while looking over their shoulders to this fine, proud man, exhaustion ringing his eyes, his shoulders sagging with the weight of it all, and I thought how VERY lucky I was, and GLASS was, to have this exquisite man representing us in the halls of State Government. I was with him every day during the last week of his illness, and he still talked about the possible. What a splendid man. I will miss him personally, the GLASS family mourns him tremendously, and the LGBT youth he served will never forget him.
I am so shocked and saddened to hear that Howard has died. It sounds sudden and surprised even him. I first met Howard 10 years ago when I moved here from the east coast and walked into Being Alive, where he served on the board. Shortly after, again at UCLA where I was doing some AIDS work and then at GLASS where he was working helping youth in need. Most of all, at high holidays at Kol Ami where we sat together bringing in the hopes for a new year of health and blessings.
Howard lived his life as a blessing to others. I will miss him. G-d has an angel and a beloved friend.
RIP sweet kind friend.
I worked with Howard on the education program at GLASS. Like so many before me, I came to realize that Howard Jacobs “taught” through the actions of his life. His legacy to LGBT youth of the Los Angeles area is one of realization that they are welcomed guests at the table of political life in this nation. Howard taught that being an American meant being an activist;through voting, marching, organizing or simply speaking up to anyone open to listening. Vaya con Dios, Amigo.
Karen,
Thank you again for remembering Howard. He was a good man and an advocate at heart. While we not always agreed, and he certainly could make me mad at times, I am saddened to realize he’s gone. He did so much for so many people who were never aware that he, by working on the County Commission on HIV or attending countless meetings to reauthorize the Ryan White Care Act, had touched their lives. He was one of the reasons I ended up working for Councilman John Duran on the City Council. It was actually Howard who called me and told me about John’s hiring and encouraged me to apply… And now, here we are…
Howard inspired me to get more involved with the Patients Bill of Rights and Lobby Day in Sacramento.He was such a kind and passionate person, that I wanted to make a difference like he did. He really made me see how people can make a difference in their own communities. He seemed to just know what to do to make things happen. Most of all, he had a real gift for connecting with people. I had not seen him in a few years, but I think of him often.
I met Howard at some meeting about foster youth and he came right up to me afterwards and said “hey we have to talk.” I wondered who he was but agreed. He was green in the foster youth advocacy world and wildly dedicated. He told me we (radicals) need to stick together. We need to keep moving the agenda forward, keep pushing the envelope so that the youth could have their say. He didn’t want the spotlight, he wanted to be of service, you could tell that right away. I liked him nearly instantly. Howard was also just a very winning man, he and I opened up pretty quickly to one another, sharing struggles and later triumphs. Whenever i would find myself at an event I thought Howard might be at, I would look around for him and when he wasn’t there, it would be sad. When we did see one another he was warm, always happy to make contact, and had a loving hug to offer. I am so sad to hear of his death and so grateful to have met him.
Howard will be greatly missed not only for his work on behalf of HIV/AIDS issues but on behalf of his work for the children of the County of Los Angeles here at First 5 LA. Howard’s passion for those issues that were dear to his heart was unrelenting, focused and dedicated. I will truly miss him and will always remember him as one of those special inspirational people that has touched my life.
I knew Howard only indirectly–he was the good friend of my best friend–and I only spent time with him on a dozen or so occasions. But he left an indelible impression on me as a kind, genuine, intelligent and concerned person, a great listener who was genuinely interested in everything, a concerned and involved activist, and a loyal friend. Benevolent but mighty, he was/is a noble spirit. It’s hard to believe I won’t see him again.
When Howard joined us at First 5 LA almost a year ago it only took a few weeks to recognize that I was blessed to have crossed paths with him. He was truly a special person who was totally committed to children’s health, civil rights and all issues of injustice for the underserved. He became not only a well-respected collegue but a friend as well…he always listened,gave comfort and then a hug of support. We shared some great laughs. He had a wonderful spirit and will be missed by all.
I didn’t know Howard well, but he was a great source when I was a reporter for the West Hollywood Independent newspaper. Early on at my time at the paper, Howard took me out for lunch to discuss West Hollywood city politics and to pitch me some stories regarding HIV and other health issues. I learned a lot about HIV issues from him. Howard was an unassuming man who never bad-mouthed anyone during our conversations, and I have no doubt he was an extremely well-liked and respected individual. Although he pitched me stories, he never wanted to be quoted in the paper, saying he didn’t want to to steal the spotlight from others. He was a behind-the-scenes guy, humble, a class act.
Kevin Butler
Thank you for your article on Howard. I have known Howard for many years, And I am pleased to have been part of that cookie gang that floated between the East and West Coast. I got to know him through our good friend in common George. I was delighted when George and howard came over to Scotland to spend some time with me in Edinburgh. And everytime I was in LA we would hook up.
Howard’s influence,kind spirit, sense of fairness and fun reached across the Atlantic, and there will always be a little place in Edinburgh, Scotland that will remember him.
I had the honor of working under the supervision of Howard during his job as a Director of Public Affairs at GLASS. At the time, I was a first-year MSW intern, full of high hopes and aspirations. I’m glad to say that Howard helped me tremendously in molding these high hopes into something concrete and grounded. He was a tough supervisor, very critical and honest. Definitely not something I was used to in an LGBT organization. As tough as he was though, he always made sure that I was OK, personally and professionally. He was a great mentor, someone I’ll always look up to. I’ll miss you dearly Howard.
I met Howard a little over 3 years ago. We met at a meeting, and after the meeting he came up to me to ask about joinging CYC (California Youth Connection). During that conversation, we instantly clicked and that was the start of our friendship. Howard came to volunteer for CYC for a little over 3 years- and even in the midst of hids professional changes from GLASS to Save the Children to First4LA, Howard remained dedicated and a support for the young people of CYC. Howard was passionate about what he believed in, was a role model for many of the youth, and was so gentle with everyone he came in contact with. I have a lot of memories of/with Howard: from watching him interact with our youth in Sacramento, to holding a baby at a chapter meeting and asking “what do I do with this”, to meeting for dim sum and our awesome conversations that ranged from dating to our favorite informercials.
I love Howard and will miss him dearly. I am truly honored to have known him and to have called him my friend.
I had the luck to volunteer with Howard at APLA and I am grateful to have worked with such a wonderful person. He will be missed by everyone who knew him.
Karen, I am so deeply saddened by the news. And thank you for being the voice of our community who too often has the task of memorializing the lives of our lost heroes. And Howard was indeed a hero. I met Howard around nine years ago and spent many hours with him on the LA County Commission on HIV and on trips to Washington DC. Howard was a passionate advocate, but his passion was driven by an equally deep well of compassion and kindness for his friends. The world is a better place because Howard Jacobs was in it, and I feel that I am a better person for having known him. Go in peace Howard. Your work here was left unfinished, my friend, but we will do our best to carry that work on…
Thank you, Liz. It’s an honor to provide a space where Howard’s friends can share and where his family can see how loved and important he was.
My brother Rob, sent me this link about Howard Jacobs. I never had the priviledge of knowing Howard but upon reading this, what an inspiration he must have been to all who have known Howard. The world needs more kind, giving, unselfish and compassionate individuals like Howard. My condolences go out to Howard’s family and friends. He is a guidling light to the rest of us.
I am saddened, shocked and overwhelmed of the passing of my friend Howard Jacobs- he was a pioneer, mentor and advocate for people with HIV and Gay Youth. His efforts impacted alot of people- he was an example in making a difference in other lives. He made a difference in mind! Job well done Howard
‘
You will be be missed by many of those you reached out and helped. My heart is heavy and full of saddnes, but am grateful for having you in a chapter of my life. You were still the best bowler on our team no matter what anyone says!
Howard was a great advocate for humanity and a great human being. I worked directly with Howard at GLASS and in the process we discovered that our paths had frequently crossed — as early as in 1981 as freshmen at Tulane. Howard captured that rare balance of pushing fiercely for what he knew was right and yet not sacrificing the possible for the sake of the perfect. An optimist who believed things could and would get better, Howard was a tireless worker for our kids and he never accepted the status quo. He will be missed.
The time I spent in Howard’s aquaintance was very short indeed, but I am no less blessed than the folks that knew him all their lives. I do wish I had more time hanging out with him. I met Howard through George in New York. I still think of Howard as my Hero. When I found out that I was that I was HIV positive-George had me call Howard immediately. Despite Howard’s busy world he took the time to council me on things I should do and expect.
I will never forget his words of wisdom. He said “Your life is not over, if you choose, your life can truely begin.” For me, Howard is not gone, his passing-it’s just the formality of transition.
Thank you to all that loved him and gave him joy.
George, thank you for introducing me to your beloved friend.
Howard will live in my memory forever.
Sincerely
Lance Durrance
I am so sad and shocked(!) to hear of Howard’s passing. I got the opportunity to get to know him about a year ago. What a bright light in the world that has been snuffed out. I am very, very sad. He was a wonderful person, and had nothing to share but goodness. And his love for Wilma . . .
I met Howard back in 1992ish when I was a volunteer at APLA. We became good friends and did so many things together. I learned so much from him. Howard and I went camping in 1998 and he taught me about the stars and made me sit on the top of this mountain and watch as the moon rose. What a wonderful gift he gave to my life. That Christmas his spent with my family and the gift I bought him was to name a star after him. How great to know that as I look into the sky, there is a star named Howard Jacobs winking down at me. (If anyone would like the coordinates of the star, you can e-mail me at janis2@earthlink.net and I will send you the PDF file)
What a great, comprehensive and thoughtful piece; a tribute to a decent man who lived an honorable life of love and caring. Without a credible written press, it may be just articles on the Net which gives our community life. No newspaper could put in all the space this one article did.
I first met Howard back in 1993. I was coordinating the Community Education Forums at AIDS Project Los Angeles and wanted to put together a panel of Long Term Survivors. A fellow employee from Volunteer Resources suggested I meet with Howard. He was on our first panel and did many of them over the years. His story about fighting his insurance company and his neglectful employers was inspiring to many. His joy for living was also a wonder to behold. We worked together throughout the 90s, and then I proudly saw him blossom at West Hollywood City Hall. He loved his community and wanted to make the world a better place. He had a fighter’s spirit with an underlying sweetness. I loved his New York, let’s cut through all the b.s. manner. It suited my own. We also both drove RAV 4s for a while, which made us Lesbian Soccer Mom Soul Sisters! I will miss Howard tremendously and am deeply saddened by his sudden passing. We have lost a great one, and I can only hope that we have learned by his example. Earlier this year, when marriage rights were revoked in CA, I ran into Howard at a rally and he handed me a NO ON PROP 8 sign. I was so proud to share this moment of activism with him. Today, I’ll be getting off my butt and heading down to Santa Monica and San Vicente and help gather signatures to repeal Prop 8 in 2010. For you and for all of us Howard. With much love, Glenn
Hi Karen – I am Howard Jacobs’s sister – his older sister. And I want to thank you for having a place for me to read about my brother Howard and see over and over how much he meant to others as well as me. Howard and I had our ups and downs over the years but in the past year we were truly brother and sister – he walked with me and my father down the aisle at my wedding – I was proud to have him by my side and I don’t even think there is a word for the loss I am feeling at this moment. I will carry him in my heart forever – and hope I can help in carrying out some of that which he was so passionate about.
Hi Hilary –
I don’t know if you were at the memorial yesterday but I am writing up something about it and will post with photos later this afternoon.
I’m glad you can see how beloved your brother was.
Wishing you and your family all the best -
Karen O
Yes Karen I was at the memorial and once again thanks for being able to read these posts – My husband videotaped the service for those in our family as well as friends who could not be there – I would be happy to send you a copy. Also I have a CarePage for Howard and would love you to see it at CarePages.com – Thansk again for your good wishes – I will pass this along to my parents.
Hilary Matthews
HI Karen – My parents what to thank everyone for their support – it is so great to know how many people loved my brother – I just wanted to let you know that Howard actually passed at 4:05 am on 11/11/09 and not 11/12/09. Also I live in North Hollywood, not West Hollywood and we have a sister Stacy who lives in Redhook, NY – Stacy has 5 children from 13-24 who all live in Redhook, NY, except for one girl who goes to school in Buffalo, NY. Thanks again
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I was saddened to hear that Howard passed away so suddenly. In the short time I met Howard as a Children’s advocate coalition partner, I could feel the passion and dedication he carried with everything he did in life. After reading some of the blogs and more about his life, I never really knew how much he had accomplished in such a short time. I will miss Howard the advocate but most of all, I will miss Howard my friend.
Hi Hilary,
I was so saddened to hear about Howard’s passing. It had been so many years since I had seen him and often thought about trying to get in touch with him again. We worked together at the JW Marriott and we were very close at one time. Perhaps you remember me as we spoke on the phone a few times many years ago. It sounds like he had done some amazing things in his lifetime. That’s the Howard I knew and loved.
Wishing the Jacobs family the best~ Stacy
i feel so empty , am so scare i feel like death flash in n out of my life ,i hear the voices in shadows ,, i feel the energy in the hear , my dreams hunts me, like my every day night mare, .am not ready to let go ,, cant accept is happening to me ,, my haunted feellings are killin me ,, my mind exosted, my soul dont wanna let go , a pray to god , to take my to his hands ,n make me happy , like ill never end, mom i love u n i my self recomend, to always see u happy n never tell u about my pain , about how my soul is dyin, n cant fight no more , am drowning
n my life is fading away.. i love every body . i wish i was herre to stay to make u happy,, mom u my beautiful day
Hi Karen,
Hoping you can help me out with some thoughtful insight, though there is plenty above… I served on the CDC’s Medical Monitoring Project community advisory board with Howard for the last 5+ years. The group was shocked and saddened by the sudden loss as we had just concluded our annual meeting in October. The CAB is meeting once again next month and would like to remember Howard. If you have pictures, stories or anything we could share it would be greatly be appreciated. Thanks in advance!