LGBT POV

The annual Human Rights Campaign gala is generally a night for gay politicos to schmooze with HRC President Joe Solmonese (pictured here with HRC board member Alan Uphold and his partner Jeff Olde) about the DC gossip and pending legislation.

So it uncommon for a self-proclaimed “D-List” celebrity to make more news than the politicos.  But comedienne Kathy Griffin’s call to protest the antigay military policy Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a significant highlight at the Human Rights Campaign gala March 13 at the Hyatt Century Plaza Hotel. Actress Portia de Rossi was also a hit with the story about her political evolution.

Griffin – the intentionally controversial comedienne awarded the HRC Ally for Equality Award – apologized for foregoing her usual “dick” jokes (see a funny red carpet interview with her on Radaronline.) But she decided to skip the prepared speech in favor of reading emails from a gay soldier doing his third tour of duty in Afghanistan and the soldier’s partner of 10 years – both of whom are suffering under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Griffin has taken her comedy tour to Iraq and intends to do a special on DADT on her Bravo show, “My Life on the D-List.” She announced that she is flying to Washington DC on Monday to meet with Congressmember Barney Frank and “whoever else” she can meet on Capitol Hill. On Thursday, she is holding a DADT protest in Freedom Plaza at noon, which will also be taped for her special. She asked the audience to use their social networks (“twat it on your twitter”) to spread the word.

Griffin first read the email from “Dan,” servicemember “Joe’s” partner, who told about how Joe’s sister was named as the first to be notified if something happened to Joe. Early one morning, Dan received a call from Joe’s weeping sister and it seemed like an eternity before she said their aunt had died.

“She didn’t know to lead with the assurance that Joe was OK. I have never been so angry or distraught or relieved,” Dan wrote. “I balled the entire commute to work. And I had to compose myself when I got to work as if nothing had happened.” Dan also wrote about how when Joe returned from his first deployment, another gay servicemember held up the phone for Dan to listen to the “Welcome Home” ceremony on the base while he sat at home alone.

In his email from Afghanistan, Joe wrote about how DADT “continues to make us feel like illegitimate people – despite our willingness to protect the very government – possibly with our lives – and defend the people who legitimize this law. We feel it codifies bigotry.” Joe wrote about how Dan also suffers under DADT – sharing all the risks but receiving none of the support, such as the right of first notification. Joe wrote that “things and attitudes have indeed changed for the better. But as long as this law remains on the books, there is not only the fear of being caught and losing everything – but the shame of living counter to the military’s core values of living an ethical and honest life.”

Griffin was powerful but other segments were awkward

While this was a powerful segment, other portions of the HRC dinner were awkward.

For instance, there was an embarrassing paucity of politicians at the political fundraiser – most notably missing was California Assembly Speaker John Perez who just made history as the nation’s first openly gay Latino to head a state legislative body. Additionally, in this intense election year – there was no mention of retiring Congressmember Diane Watson or the women most likely to replace her, former Assembly Speaker Karen Bass – a strong African American advocate for marriage equality. Nor was attention drawn to the presence of Dr. Duane McWaine, spouse of David Huebner, the openly gay US Ambassador to New Zealand and Samoa.

US Sen. Barbara Boxer delivers keynote

LGBT ally US Senator Barbara Boxer delivered the keynote address. But unlike her Senate counterpart, Dianne Feinstein, who keynoted last year and arrived early, wandered through the silent auction, and stayed for the entire dinner – Boxer appeared only for her speech and then departed.  In fairness, Boxer is on the campaign trail and had another engagement – but oddly, she spoke and left without asking for the LGBT vote. Nonetheless, the Northern California liberal will forever be held dear in the hearts of many LGBT politicos for her ardent defense of Clinton nominee Roberta Achtenberg against rabidly antigay US Sen. Jesse Helms during Achtenberg’s extremely difficult 1993 confirmation process. And of course, there was her debate with right winger Sen. Rick Santorum on the proposed federal constitutional marriage amendment in 2004.

But Boxer’s sheen dulled as she steadfastly held to her preference of civil unions over marriage equality – a position made even more stark during the battle over Prop 8 when the more conservative Feinstein announced her full, unequivocal support for marriage equality. Boxer did start changing her position after the California Supreme Court struck down the ban on marriage for same sex couples in 2008. She also sent out an email to supporters to oppose Prop 8 and privately called LGBT leaders after the amendment passed to ask what she could do to help. But she was not as publicly front and center as she had been during 2004.

Boxer is facing a difficult re-election in this year of antipathy towards incumbents – a campaign that may get harder if her opponent is gay-friend Republican Tom Campbell who has long supported marriage equality and publically opposed Prop 8.  However, Campbell also opposes the current federal court case challenging the constitutionality of Prop 8 – he thinks the issue should not be decided in the courts. It is a position I would have loved to ask Boxer about – but she was unavailable to the press. (Campbell’s campaign also has not responded to a request for an interview.)

In his introduction of Boxer, HRC President Joe Solmonese made some interesting points, starting with this one:

“No one has gone to the matt for us more passionately than Sen. Barbara Boxer…. She works every day to ensure that the law will treat us equally.”

Really? Even more passionate than the late Sen. Ted Kennedy or Congressmember Patrick Murphy who’s leading the charge on repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?”

Solmonese then added a personal note:

“There was that surreal time for our community between losing Proposition 8 and hearing that President Obama had asked Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his Inaugural. On that day, and during that time, one member of Congress called me –  one – out of our entire Congress. It was Barbara Boxer and she had a simple question: what can I do? I asked her to do a lot and she did a lot.” He then introduced Boxer as “my friend and our hero.”

Solmonese didn’t say what he asked Boxer to do or what she did. But the vignette raises deeper questions: why doesn’t the head of the national LGBT lobbying organization have more friends in Congress? I wouldn’t have even thought to ask this question since usually the executive directors call the elected officials – but Somonese stressed the point himself. And since the whole world seemed to know the LGBT community was angry over Prop 8 and the Rick Warren insult – it does seem logical that our friends and allies would have asked HRC what they could do to help. So kudos to Boxer. But does this say anything about why we are not feared or courted as a constituency? And what is the gauge by which HRC measures whether an elected official “works every day to ensure that the law will treat us equally?”

Boxer appeared resplendent in purple but for some reason, she read her remarks from a script in hand, rather than from the prompter. And the script hit all the HRC talking points – including a line reflecting the night’s theme, “Speak the truth.”

But I winced when Boxer brought up Ted Kennedy and noted that he had championed passage of ENDA – the Employee Non-Discrimination Act – for more than a decade before his death Aug. 25, 2009. Boxer said:

“But I want to be clear – as long as I’m there [in the Senate], I’m going to pick up that baton and I’m going to do everything I can until ENDA is signed into law.”

The line received tremendous applause, as did another pledge:

“This week I’m going to plan to introduce into the Senate a bill to help same sex couples that have health insurance through their employer to retain the coverage when they leave their job. That’s the Cobra plan – and extend it to same sex couples.”

You can blame Bill Clinton for the intense parsing of language we reporters now do with politicians – remember, “It depends on what the meaning of is, is?” But I could not help but note that Kennedy has been dead for almost 7 months and this is the first time I’ve heard that Boxer “is going to pick up the baton” for ENDA. And “I’m going to plan to introduce” a bill is far from saying here’s when, what and how I’m going to introduce this specific legislation.

Solmonese on ENDA

I asked Solmonese about the status of ENDA and Boxer’s ENDA “baton” comment. He said:

“We’re working towards a House vote. You know, we’ve spent the last two years really closing that gap and ensuring we’ve got the votes – not just on sexual orientation but gender identity, as well. And as I’m sure you’ve heard, Congressman Franks feels confident that we’ve got the votes.

I think on any issue of importance to our community – the big hurdle is always the Senate and that is less about our issues and the particulars of our issues – and more about their rules of the Senate. I mean, the healthcare fight is sort of the great example to look to in terms of passing a meaningful, comprehensive bill in the House and then having all sorts of challenges in the Senate. It’s the same for us. And ENDA is no different.”

On that note – Boxer said she was picking up the baton from Ted Kennedy on ENDA – who died a while ago and this is the first I’m hearing of that.  Solmonese said:

“Well, it’s funny – even with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, she has been outspoken and she has been a strong advocate. But obviously the leadership – and I think the White House feels this way and members of the Senate feel this way – the leadership on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in the Senate is obviously going to be the people who serve on Armed Services – Carl Levin and Joe Lieberman. And so I think the same is true with regard to ENDA. Obviously, Sen. Kennedy asked Jeff Merkley from Oregon to take the lead both in terms of his passion around the issue but also because of committee assignment. And obviously Sen. Boxer respected that – and [they] obviously are doing everything they can – but for a variety of circumstances, Jeff Merkley is the lead. And [Maine Republican Sen.] Susan Collins, as well. And of course, they tend to be the faces and the out-front people on the issue.

But can you press her? Somonese:

“In fairness to Sen. Boxer, look – the community asked Sen. Feinstein to cut the ad on Prop 8 to refute the public school statement. Sen. Boxer was willing to do it, would have done it but for a variety of reasons, Sen. Feinstein was asked. I think it’s the same on these landmark issues. They asked Joe Lieberman to take the lead on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Sen. Kennedy asked Sen. Merkley to take the lead on ENDA – and sometimes a mark of leadership and a measure of leadership is to stand back and let others who have been asked to be the face on the issue or the spokesperson on the issue to do that job – but to work behind the scenes and I think that’s what Sen. Boxer has done in a great way.”

A couple of things. First, just for clarification of the record – No on Prop 8 campaign manger Patrick Guerrero and the campaign consultants asked Feinstein to cut the ad because her high “favorables” – not “the community” which really didn’t know what was happening at that point.  Second, Kennedy may have asked Merkley to take the lead on ENDA – but there has been nothing from his office since August 2009 that I can find – despite the desperate need for such a bill in these difficult economic times. Third, things are not always as “obvious” to those of us outside the Beltway. I have no clue that Boxer has been working behind the scenes on ENDA.

Boxer supports marriage equality

All that said, Boxer did make a lot of headway in buffering back up that sheen by acknowledging the difficulty in the political relationship. Boxer said:

“I’ve told many of you that my views on marriage equality evolved over time. From my support for civil unions with full rights to my firm conviction today that marriage equality is a civil right – plain and simple.”

Boxer quoted from California Supreme Court Justice Ronald George’s May 2008 ruling on marriage, then said:

“So, if you make a commitment to honor and love, it’s marriage. That’s the deal. So even though it took me longer than you may have hoped – (laughter) – I know some of you were mad at me – (someone yells: ‘Still are’) – he’s still mad at me – (laughter) – I’m proud to stand before you today as a full supporter of marriage equality. Firm in my conviction (inaudible over the thunderous applause that clearly moves her). Thank you – you never gave up on me.”

At the end of her speech, Boxer received a warm standing ovation.  HRC donor Bruce Bastion told me, “She really knocked it out of the park. Her message was so simple and very, very powerful.”

It will be interesting to see if and how Boxer picks up Kennedy’s ENDA baton between now and Election Day.

Solmonese remarks link Bloody Sunday with Oscars

One glaringly awkward moment that was difficult to grasp was Joe Solmonese’s speech, introduced by a video set to U2’s civil right song, “In the Name of Love.” He talked about Sunday, March 7 and how the anniversary of the civil rights march in Selma, Alabama and the Academy Awards symbolized two completely different but truly American moments – both magnified in the America living room:

“It was the 45^th anniversary of bloody Sunday when hundreds of civil rights marchers crossed a bridge in Selma, seeking the right to vote. They were met by horrific violence – much of it brought on by the police. People were clubbed and gassed – many were severely injured. Americans watched in shock at the scene that was replayed over and over again and again and it galvanized a movement.

Forty-five years 45 later and most of us remember last Sunday as Oscar night. And Oscar night showed America a picture of gay America that’s come a long way.

Now, I am not saying that this or any other Oscar night produced a civil rights revelation – nobody said to themselves, ‘There’s that Tom Ford. We ought to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ Our TV images are often positive and that has brought progress in and of itself. Before Tom Hanks played a gay man living and ultimately dying of AIDS and reminded us of our common humanity, we were a community apart. And when Portia de Rossi – who we honor tonight – spoke so beautifully and honestly with Oprah Winfrey about love and its power to overcome anything that stands in its way, millions of Americans could not help but be moved to understand the circumstances of our lives a little better.  (Applause)

And yet LGBT Americans are still treated unequally under the law and they are marginalized in many communities. And no, we do not face billy clubs when we apply for a marriage license. The African American experience of slavery, of Jim Crow, and of blatant and constant discrimination, is unique in our nation’s history and the civil rights pioneers of the mid-20^th century risked their lives to transform this nation. Those Selma marchers gave us this better world that we live in today. (Applause)

But nonetheless, our community does face violence and discrimination and joblessness and healthcare disparities and exclusion from (inaudible) protections and the stigma and danger of serving our country in silence under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. But the truth is – the truth is – far too many Americans still underestimate the inequality we face – and that is the flipside of the TV images that people so often see. In fact, too many people who could be our allies, don’t have a clue how badly we need them. If they don’t know what we don’t have and what we’re fighting for – how can we expect them to stand with us, let alone march with us?”

To some people, Solmonese’s attempt to honor the anniversary of Bloody Sunday wound up being jarringly mashed up with the Oscars. Perhaps his point might have been less jarring if there had been more than one person of color gracing the stage. In her blog Out With Mommy, volunteer PR maven K. Pearson Brown did note, however, that of the about 800 attendees, perhaps 20% were women – “which is a significant increase from typical HRC events.”

Lots of lesbians

That may have had to do with the presence of lesbians on the roster from Portia de Rossi (minus her wife Ellen DeGeneres), Meredith Baxter, Suze Orman (who opened the show), to Suzanne Westenhofer. “Biggest Loser” trainer Jillian Michaels was also there – though I don’t know if she’s gay.

Everyone was happy to see Ellen’s mother Betty DeGeneres again – and she was thrilled to introduce her daughter-in-law, Portia de Rossi who received HRC’s Visibility Award. It might have helped had the attractive actress actually walked the Red Carpet and spoken with the horde of paparazzi and reporters who awaited her.

UPDATE: MY MISTAKE: APPARENTLY PORTIA DID POSE FOR PHOTOS – OR AT LEAST THESE TWO PROVIDED A FEW DAYS LATER BY HRC:

de Rossi was exemplary

But otherwise, de Rossi was exemplary, posing for pictures with star struck fans in the ballroom and delivering very elegant, honest and promising remarks:

“Until recently, I’ve been very passive about equality issues. I was an extremely closeted actress for the first few years of my career. In fact, when I was on Ally McBeal, I wouldn’t even drive down Santa Monica Boulevard because I was scared people would see me through the car window and wonder what I was doing in the gay part of town. (laughter)

But back then I thought that it was no one’s business that I was gay – that I deserved to have a private life – but over time I came to realize how selfish that is – and how important it is to be visible. Because acting – while it is a fine profession – isn’t really an important thing to do with your life compared to what you can do to advance acceptance and equality in society. (applause)

It’s weird – even now – despite the fact that TV executives tell me that being gay is no longer an issue – it will remain an issue for as long as actors chose to hide their sexuality. (applause)

Jonathan Slavin (“Better Off Ted”) is at my table tonight. There’s a handful of actors that are actually brave enough to come out and to put their selfishness aside and do what they can to be visible in this community. So thank you Jonathan. (applause)

The next step I took was to be seen and not heard. I thought it was important to show the image of a happily married gay woman and to show people that while I was an outwardly gay actor, I could still play heterosexual characters. I left the political debates to organizations such as this one and I thought that while I was successful in my career and my marriage – that I was doing my part to convince people that gay marriage was just marriage and a gay actor was just an actor. I thought the subliminal message was enough.

But Proposition 8 changed all that for me. Really for the first time in my life, I felt like I knew what it was like to feel discrimination and hatred. I felt less-than. I felt like my government was telling me that I wasn’t as important as everyone else and that I didn’t deserve the same rights and freedoms. I found myself having discussions with so-called liberal people about the word ‘marriage’ and I discovered that my expectation at being considered equal and wanting to be treated as such was extreme.

So I started talking – I talked about injustice and inequality wherever I could. I shared private details of my life with Ellen to make a point and I talked about my frustration that a basic human right could be taken away by a majority vote. I developed a knack for turning any question into a discussion about gay marriage. For example – what are you wearing? (laughter) Victoria Beckham, by the way, (laughter).  I would say, ‘a wedding ring.’ (applause)

But looking back, I believe that by not expressing my views, I was still doing the dance of acceptance – that maybe I thought that I would be more palatable, more accepted if I wasn’t blatantly political. But I discovered that self-acceptance is the only kind that matters (applause) and talking really is the key ingredient to changing people’s opinions into real, lasting change.

So thank you, really, so much for this award. It means a lot to me. On a personal note, it really shows me how far I’ve come and how important it is to continue to use whatever platform I’ve been given to express my opinions and be a voice for equality. And I won’t stop talking until equality is achieved and there’s nothing left to talk about. (applause)