LGBT POV

Like so many of us, my friends Mary Jo Godges and Renee Sotile are anxiously awaiting District Court Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling on the constitutionality of Prop 8, the amendment passed by voters in 2008 that stripped away the right of same sex couples to marry in California. Walker does not have to give any advance warning that the decision is imminent – so we’re all just holding our breath.

Mary Jo (wearing the glasses in this photo) and Renee got married on Election Day 2008, becoming among the same sex couples married before the right was rescinded. When Mary Jo told me she had former Vice President Al Gore and LA Gay & Lesbian Center CEO Lorri Jean on videotape talking about the case – I realized this was more than just waiting for the news. For them, the wait alone was like a sword of Damocles hanging over their heads, threatening their marriage, as well, though the California Supreme Court ruled the 18,000 or so same sex marriages remained valid. I asked Mary Jo to write about their marriage – just a reminder to everyone what this Prop 8 ruling is all about.

But first – considering how prescient Al Gore is (he was warning about climate change long before An Inconvenient Truth) – here’s the exchange between Renee and Gore, during a book tour stop in Beverly Hills on Nov. 12, 2009. Renee hands him a DVD of a documentary she and Mary Jo made about Christa McAuliffe, the first Teacher in Space who was killed when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded in 1986. (Christa McAuliffe: Reach for the Stars).  Gore says, “I hear good things about the court decision coming up on Prop 8.” He says this six months after the American Foundation for Equal Rights announced they filed Perry v, Schwarzenegger and two months before the case went to trial in San Francisco.

Here’s Mary Jo Godges and Renee Sotile’s story:

On Nov 3, 2008, the eve of the Presidential election, my partner of 17 years, Renee and I were watching the “Yes on 8” rallies dominate the local news.  It was quite a wake up call for us living in the safe and accepting bubble of West Hollywood. The news that evening slapped us with the reality of Prop 8 actually passing and made us realize that if we were going to be married, the time was NOW.  Our last chance was on Election Day!

Heterosexuals have a lifetime to plan and prepare for their wedding. But in a panic, Renee and I dove on the Internet and took a crash schooling on how to get married.  Talk about a shotgun wedding.

That night, we filled out the forms online for the Beverly Hills Court House, showed up there the next morning, signed the papers but were then told that a marriage is not valid without a “ceremony.”  Beverly Hills was booked for 6 weeks…the clock was ticking.

We rushed off to the West Hollywood City Hall and asked our dear city council member, the late Sal Guarriello, if he could arrange to get us married…now?! My heart was racing like a blushing bride…sort of.  He agreed instantly to be our witness and recruited Paul Arevalo, City Manager to officiate!  Our wedding was all of 2½ minutes (see video).

We looped back to the Beverly Hills Court House with marriage certificate in hand.  The clerk’s jaw dropped when she saw us and said she had never known of a couple to be married that fast.  As she announced us married! – a round of applause erupted throughout the entire court house lobby, even the security guards!

That night, as the election results poured in, I kept hearing Sal’s bracing words from earlier that day, spoken in his familiar NY Italian accent: “No matter what, you girls – you’re gonna be alright.” Talk about “word-to-the-wise from the father of the brides because you know how Prop H8 turned out.

The next morning, Renee halted my pity party in her silliest MC Hammer impression: “C’mon, you know we’re Too legit – Too legit to quit.”

Whoo hoo ♡ Complete with Hammer Time dance moves. That’s right, that’s why I married her!

So here we are, at the brink of another outcome.  This time it’s a federal case, and it’s still personal.  So when we happened to see Lorri Jean, Chief Executive Officer of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, I had to check the barometer and ask her opinion.

Yes, the familiar uncertainty awaits.

Renee and I were among the final gay couples to be married in California.  But we refuse to be the end of the line – and are holding a place in line for many, many more couples to follow us down this yellow brick road soon!

Our Election Day Wedding (please note that Sal’s deputy Donna shot the video and got so excited watching the ceremony, she didn’t realize the camera was tilted until afterwards. There is actually something endearing about this, IMHO):